Pain Is Hard

Hi, my name is Judie. I have been suffering from chronic pain for 2 and a half years. I was healthy and active and one day I had a pain in the back of my left leg. I did not fall or injure myself. It progressively got worse in a very short time.

I could not sit and the pain was radiating from my left glute to back of left leg, stopping behind the knee. My doctor thought it was sciatica, I was assessed at physiotherapy, and they did not think it was sciatica. I tried some pain medication and it did not give me relief.

I had an ultrasound and an x-ray and I paid for a private MRI. I needed some answers and some relief. My life has changed dramatically almost overnight.The pain was excruciating.

My doctor prescribe me several different nerve pain medication‘s, and I had severe reactions to all of them. I went to a chiropractor, and after seven sessions, he said I wasn’t responding and he was sorry he couldn’t help me.

I went to acupuncture and after five sessions he said he was sorry he couldn’t help me I was not responding. It has been a mystery to everyone I have seen.

I had a zoom consultation with a private surgeon in Vancouver. Of course he had all the results of all my tests. He said he could try as small non-evasive surgery, but he didn’t think I would be happy with it. He could make no promises, and it would be thousands of dollars.

I went to Physio at the local hospital, I think that helped me a little bit.I was able to sit on a very big sponge cushion for short periods of time, honestly I have tried every pain medication, even opiates and morphine with a very little success.out of desperation I have called the ambulance three times in the past two years plus. That was a nightmare. Sitting in the waiting room for seven hours before the doctor could see me and he sent me home with Tylenol.

I saw a spinal surgeon in Calgary for an assessment. I was told to take muscle relaxers and have some more Cortizone shots. By the way I forgot to mention I had two Cortizone shots and the first one madd me significantly worse and the second one did nothing. I am not having any more Cortizone shots.

I joined the chronic pain zoom sessions for nine weeks. Hearing how others have been suffering with chronic pain and their struggles helped me to know I am not the only one. The information on understanding pain was helpful. Knowing that movement even though it may hurt is not going to cause any damage, has also been helpful.

I had another six sessions at physiotherapy in the local hospital and the lady I had was very encouraging and really wanted to help me.

Going to visit with the Chronic Pain Nurse was very encouraging. His experience with pain issues and the time he took to listen and talk and explain things to me was so helpful. Both the Chronic Pain Nurse and the physiotherapist helped me to make small goals and start to do little things that I like.

A huge breakthrough was I went to visit two of my children who live in British Columbia. I flew there and back. I did not think I could ever do that. I haven’t been out of my home city for over three years. It was hard waiting in the airport for so long but I managed and I had a wonderful visit with my children. We went hiking and swimming and on the boat… Something I never thought I could do…that visit lifted my spirits tremendously, and I never would have gone without the encouragement.

No, I am certainly not anywhere near pain-free. And it is frustrating knowing that I don’t have any great physical reasons why I have this constant pain.

However I am learning to live with it better, I have taken up some hobbies and I am sewing gifts for people , that has been very good for my emotional being and a good distraction from the pain.
My outlook in life is different, I don’t feel so desperate. I told my Chronic Pain Nurse that between him and my Physio lady they have helped me more than all the doctors and specialists and tests and medication…

I have been working on re-training my brain as they feel my pain system is out of whack and my brain is in over protective mode. I am working really hard on that.

One huge breakthrough which is going to probably sound quite lame…is that everywhere I went I took my big sponge pillow because it hurts so much to sit on a hard surface.
My chronic pain nurse helped me to slowly wean myself off of that cushion and know that even though I’m sore , I am safe and I do not need to have my cushion with me wherever I go. For the last six weeks I have left my cushion at home.

Of course I would love to be pain-free. Dealing with this issue has helped me have more empathy for other people who are suffering with pain. It is help me be more appreciative of the good health that I had for so many years.
I would encourage anyone who has chronic pain for no apparent physical reason not to give up. It is hard for sure, and it takes a toll on your emotions and mental health. I am very grateful that I have a good support system in my friends and family and I feel bad for other ones who don’t have that. However, reaching out to all the services there is and especially The chronic pain courses can really help you deal with it better.

I apologize for this long drawn out story. My goal is to keep doing my exercises and keep as active as I can and also to accept my new circumstances and work within those boundaries for that day. I do seriously take one day at a time and I think about or write down the good things of that day that I am thankful for.

thank you for listening,

Judie